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From February 2007

I can’t believe that in one hour it will be my baby girl’s first birthday. Today has been a busy day preparing for the festivities. I know that she has no clue that tomorrow is special and there is really no reason for me to celebrate the day, but I can’t help myself. Hospitalty is my spiritual gift and it means that I am having not one, but two birthday parties for Katherine. So, right now my fingers are stained with food coloring as I type.

Where has the year gone? This year has been incredible. As I sit here, there are a flood of emotions. It has been a challenging year in many ways as I have functioned on little sleep many nights, questioned my parenting many times and wondered if I am doing things “right”. As a researcher I have learned that no matter what you do, there is an “expert” out there to support you and another one to ridicule you. So from this I have learned to look at all of the options and make a decision based on what is best for my daughter. None of those experts is Katherine’s mommy, only me.

This year has been a joyful one. It is so amazing to see my precious little girl as she has grown from a tiny helpless infant that did nothing but eat, sleep, poop and cry to a wonderful toddler who is able to communicate her wishes at times, who is able to go where she wants and who has acquired so many skills. Daily I am amazed by what she is learning.

I have learned a lot about love this year. I have learned to unconditionally love my daughter. There are certainly many times I do not like her behavior, but there has never been a time that I did not love her. It is such a wonderful examply of God’s love. I have also learned to have a new kind of love for my husband as I have watched him be a wonderful father.

I have also learned a new appreciation for my own parents. I think of all of the crazy things I did and all of the times I was less than angelic. I know I put my parents through some grief and worry - and I was a good kid. This year has been one where I have grown closer to my parents than any other I can think of. It has been fun to watch them as they have enjoyed becoming grandparents and it has been special to grow closer to them as friends. I also really enjoy hearing all of the stories about when I was a baby.

I have learned to pray and trust God. There are so many things that I am responsible for regarding Katherine, yet there are so many things that I cannot control. It is God who is in control of her life. I pray daily that she would be healthy, safe and happy. I pray that she would grow in Godly character and come to know him at a young age. I pray that I would be wise as I parent her.  

On a lighter side and as a mom who is a math person I figured some things out about this year. I estimate that I have nursed Katherine approximately 2500 times (still nursing!). I have changed about 2000 diapers. Since we use cloth diapers, I have done about 125 loads of diaper laundry. As a mom and baby on the go, we have strapped into the car seat about 500 times. Katherine has been on 6 airplane rides, a boat, and a subway as well. BUT, she still has no stamp in her passport. She does plan to get that before her second birthday.